That
final summer, much like life, had come and gone in the blink of an eye and
before she knew what was happening, Sidney was thrust into the ‘land of lasts’.
Last year in high school, last chance to get her shit together, and most
importantly last chance to make all those cliché moments and memories count.
Of
course graduation wasn't the end-all-be-all and naturally many more 'lasts'
would come and go, but this one seemed bigger than anything the teen had faced
before. It was a weird feeling, the kind that can only be explained and even
understood if you’ve lived through it. The next two-hundred and seventy-some
days would be but a mere blip on the radar and Sidney was certain before she
knew it those days would pass. Pass so quickly and quietly even that if she
closed her eyes tight enough and took a deep enough breath, by the time she
opened her eyes again high school would already be behind her.
It was nerve-wrecking and calming all at once
and weighed heavily in her stomach. Yes, she would moving onto a bigger and
better chapter in her life, but at the same time all she knew was about to end.
That
was what scared her the most.
Life is an adventure and adventure is out there.
Her
heart dropped down thru her stomach and onto the floor. Adventure was out there
and Sidney wasn’t prepared. College acceptance letters sat unopened on her
dresser, and for all she knew they could very well just as easily be rejection
letters, but why bother with college when she still hadn’t decided on a major.
These
past four years, while they weren’t the best and Sidney knew she could have
applied herself harder or done more to fully embrace that cliché ‘high school experience’,
had been her safety net. No matter what happened, come hell or high water, Monday
thru Friday from eight to two fifteen high school was her priority and her
comfort; but sitting here listening to the clock tick away at her life Sidney didn’t
feel anything close to comfort. She felt the exact opposite. Lost, confused,
scared, and most importantly anxious. It was all coming to that inventible end
and while most of her fellow classmates looked forward to this change, Sidney
wished there was something she could do to keep this high school safety net
under her, even if it was for just a little bit longer.
She
despised the idea that one year was all that was given to determine the rest of
her life; one year and one teacher to help every senior pick a college major
that would eventually lead to the wonderful world of adulthood. It was barbaric,
and Sidney refused to fall victim. She was happy where she was and like most people
her age, she was still discovering who she was as a person. Why give that up
when there was no need to rush through these pivotal moments of self discovery.
College changed you, and Sidney didn’t
want to change.
Sifting
in the desk and looking around the room, taking in the happy faces of everyone around
her, Sidney’s stomach dropped even further away from her and she was certain
that it would never come back. She would chase it, try it find and hope that it
would return with a new sense of certainty and when she woke up the next morning all her
worry would be gone and that safety net of high school would begin to feel like
a cage. She would hope that her new found strength would lead her onto the
adventure and all would be right in the world.
Yeah
right.
As
the final warning bell rang Sidney shifted in her seat again, this time her
eyes refusing to make contact with anyone around her afraid they would smell
her fear. Three classes were all she had to make it through the day; senior privilege
and all.
“Good
morning!” A voice boomed from the classroom door, a voice that obviously wasn’t
Mr. Zafph’s. It made Sidney’s heart race; in her moment of self loathing had she
gone into the wrong classroom, “I know I’m not Mr. Zafph, but his wife went
into labor late last night and well here I am. Substituting on your first last
day.”
There
was a pause, a shuffle, a bang and it wasn’t until the squeak of the dry erase
marker hitting the board that Sidney looked up. Messy hand writing spelled out
what looked to read ‘Jacob Sanders’ and almost gracefully the man turned
towards the class. Thick brown hair was combed and gelled neatly away from his lightly
tanned face. He was tall, all long legs and broad shoulders and he moved hastily
to the side as if he was nervous about blocking his name.
“Now
I’m not sure how long I’ll be here with you all, probably until Mr. Zafph’s
wife get’s the clear to leave the hospital, and I’m just going to be honest,”
He paused and looked around the room, “I know nothing about science and there
was no lesson plan left for me. So how about we just go around the room and
introduce ourselves. Get to know each other a little, it’s a time passer and
the hour will be over before you know it.
“I’ll
start. I’m Jacob Sanders. I moved here
from Colorado, I’m twenty-two, I have a dog named Churchill and I’m
a senior at Hillridge University.
I like sports and math. I’m fluent in English and bad English and I… Okay, I
spent my summer in Las Vegas trying to get in as an extra on an episode of Pawn Stars. Phew, that wasn’t so hard.”
With a genuine smile Jacob nodded to himself as he looked down at the stack of
papers in front of him. “All right… alphabetical order bothers me so this will
be at random. How about… Sidney Fargo come on down!”
Sidney’s neck stiffed as the sound of her name brought
her full attention away from her own twiddling thumbs to the curious eyes of
Mr. Sanders as he searched the room for her. Maybe, just maybe, if she was
quiet enough and no-one pointed her out Sidney would blend into the back of the
classroom and maybe, just maybe, if he didn’t call on her, her senior year
would never officially start and she would just fine. Maybe, just maybe, fate
was on her side for once.
“Syd, girl, Mr. Sanders is calling you and if you don’t
introduce yourself now, I’ll do it for you.”
Fuck you
Tina.
She felt hot under his gaze, it was as if he saw her
and saw all her fear and all her anxiety and just didn’t mind and so he smiled
at her again and nodded his head into the direction of the white board,
silently asking her to forget about what was going on inside and follow his
lead on introducing herself to the class. Rising from the chair, Sidney stood
still, feet locked in place. Her eyes looked to Mr. Sanders, silently asking
him if she could sit back down, just as he’d silently asked her to follow his
lead. Not that she didn’t want to move closer to the substitute, he was one dimple
away from being on her list of ‘People I Wish I Had the Lady Balls to Sleep
With’, moving just meant facing that first dreaded ‘last’.
“Girl! This is not like you, hurry your sweet ass up there
and let us have it.” Tina called out again earning a laugh from a few other
students. It was a small class really, maybe ten or twelve students’ total, and
everyone knew everyone, after all that’s what four years in a small town would
do to a school. Tina was right; Why am I
so scared? This wasn’t me. Is this whole last year thing really bothering me so
much that I can’t even be myself where I feel most comfortable. No.
With a wink towards the red head, Sidney moved quickly
across the floor and to the front of the classroom. Looking over her shoulder,
the blonde smiled sweetly at Mr. Sanders before hoisting herself up onto Mr.
Zafph’s desk, crossing her legs as she did so. “I’m Sidney Elizabeth Fargo. I’m
eighteen and you all already knew that.” Sucking her bottom lip into her mouth,
she smiled. “I don’t have a dog, I suck at math, I know a lot about science and
I spent my summer serving mostly beer and breakfast food and trying to convince
my little brother that he can hatch an egg he bought from the grocery store if
he carried it around long enough.”
“See, now was that so hard? Thank you Miss Fargo. All
right… how about Kyle James.”
